Wednesday, 28 September 2011

ITV Exposure FAIL

ITV – Exposure Program Uses Video Game Footage to show the threat in the 80’s from the IRA…
Come on now…seriously? ITV bosses apologised after they were found out to have just badly thrown together some footage from the video game Arma II, to make it look as though it was authentic footage of the IRA from 1988…

They actually did this. How can anybody be so stupid, as to put in footage from a computer game, and really think that nobody would notice? It really does defy belief, but it has spawned some funny piss-take videos on the tube of you. But for the actual footage, please look no further than this:

An ITV spokesman said, “The events featured in Exposure: Gaddafi and the IRA were genuine but it would appear that during the editing process the correct clip of the 1988 incident was not selected and other footage was mistakenly included in the film by producers. This was an unfortunate case of human error for which we apologise.” Human error? Human error to think that a computer game was real life?

The media lately have jumped onto this bandwagon that a lot or all gamers cannot differentiate between the Virtual and Real worlds. However, maybe they should look closer to home when they cannot themselves differentiate, but it was – surprise, surprise – gamers, who noticed the glaring error and proceeded to tell the world.

One particular part of the ITV documentary particularly made me chuckle, the serious, almost somber sounding narrator of the video, says “It was possible to shoot down a helicopter, as the terrorists own footage from 1988 shows. This was what the security forces feared most. It may have been a lucky hit, but for the army and crew – once was enough. No one died in this attack, but there were many other deadly arms to fear.” There is so much to lampoon from that little excerpt – I won’t go for the obvious “Terrorists own footage” comment, since we all know that it isn’t. Instead let’s look at this little line: “This was what the security forces feared most.”

Apparently there were other fearsome foes in the battles in Northern Ireland – not as fearsome as the pixelated helicopter destroyers that the ITV believes are real. The following genuine IRA footage from 1988, is quite harrowing, and shows 4 young British Army soldiers, one by one, being chased and ultimately eaten by the ghostly IRA soldiers. Please do not watch if you are of a nervous disposition.

…I am ever so sorry. I have just been informed by the research elves in my mind here at MonkeyBoxGaming, that the above footage is actually footage from the computer game Pac Man. Not actual footage from the IRA, from 1988.

“No one died in this attack.” No shit Sherlock. It might also rest some minds out there if you were told some other home truths. Space Invaders, is just a game. Aliens didn’t really slowly lower themselves from space, whilst moving from side to side in an attempt to conquer the planet. Also plumbers don’t ever lower themselves down pipes, and eat mushrooms to grow twice their size, as much as you might want to believe after watching footage from Super Mario Bros. It might also please a lot of people out there to know that there isn’t an epidemic of people who are invisible, have the squits or even bloaty head – it all comes from yet another game called Theme Hospital.

I just felt that if ITV felt the need to let people know that nobody died during a piece of computer game footage, I should also let these poor people know the truth surrounding other games.

But there you have it. ITV thinks that computer games are real life. Even though they, and most other media outlets try to convince you that it’s you, yeah you, sat there on your arse reading this, or your kids, or your siblings who play computer games, that cannot possibly tell the difference between real life, and what happens on screen.



Thursday, 22 September 2011


Fateful words apparently said by Able Seaman (AS) Ryan Donovan, apparently shortly before he killed Lieutenant Commander (Lt Cdr) Ian Molyneux, and shot at Petty Officer (PO) Christopher Brown and Chief Petty Officer (CPO) David McCoy. Not just words spouted by a member of the Armed Forces who liked to play video games, went to school with Tinie Tempah, had a history of disobeying orders, thought of himself as a bit of a “gangstah” and, oh yeah, got absolutely rat arsed the night before he went on his rampage – but these words that adorn the title of this blog (for ironic purposes) was the headline I was greeted to this morning as I picked up my usual daily newspaper – The Mirror.

Now I like reading The Mirror, it’s easy reading, and they hate the Tories. So yeah they usually have my seal of approval. They haven’t always been the best newspaper (especially going back around 10 years to the incident in a Leeds nightclub involving Jonathan Woodgate and Lee Bowyer), but on the whole they’re pretty good.

Not anymore. I don’t feel as an avid computer gamer, who works with the Armed Forces in my real job, that I can ever take their reporting seriously anymore. The family and friends of Lt Cdr Molyneux, don’t deserve this speculation. All they deserve are the facts, which is what they’ll be listening to in court, they don’t deserve to see a picture of the killer on the front of a national tabloid, with the headline “I’LL DO A GRAND THEFT AUTO MASSACRE” with the following sub-heading of “Submarine killer inspired by computer game”.

Absolute rubbish, the guy was clearly just a fucking nut-job. As I mentioned in my previous article about Doom being released in Germany, some “experts” after the Columbine High School Massacre tried to point at “SHOCK HORROR” in their little den, there was a copy of Doom!!! That’s why they shot dead 13 people, injured around 50 people, and attempted to then blow the school up with home-made bombs. Of course.

Same goes for this guy. If someone has it in them to do one of the most heinous things in the world, by taking the life of another in cold blood – then there is something wrong with that person. When someone kills because they think it will be cool, or because they want to inflict pain on someone, or because they want to imitate someone or something, then that person is clearly disturbed. I must stress that I do not include soldiers, or those who are protecting their families in this bracket – soldiers go to war to protect their nation (and by extension the people of their nation) from threats or invaders, killing someone to a soldier only occurs when it is absolutely necessary, and when it is the last resort. Vincent Cooke, who killed an armed burglar in his house recently, did exactly what I would do – kill anyone who I felt was an immediate threat to my family. I would not think twice about killing an intruder in my house who threatened to harm any of my nearest and dearest, and I’m sure the majority of anyone with a family would think the same way.

I’m getting slightly off track. The Mirror, and other newspapers tried to lambast Grand Theft Auto – again – and blame it for this terrible incident. Again the media trying to make video games out to be these nasty horrible things that make people do things they wouldn’t normally do. “You see that John Smith from down the road, he raped his cat, set fire to his car, threw his wife out of the window and immolated himself…I bet it’s because he got an Xbox Kinect.” That kind of thing. I don’t read the Daily Mail, but I would have thought they would have jumped on this as well, maybe not just blaming GTA:IV but GTA:San Andreas – mainly because the lead character is black, and as all Daily Mail readers know, it’s the blacks and gays and immigrants that cause all of the problems in the whole wide world because they’re black, gay or not from Britain. I mean, they must hate Barrack Obama, 2 of the 3 boxes ticked…

Again I digress, this all stems from this reported in the Daily Mirror – “Shortly before the shootings, wannabe gangsta rapper Donovan, who called himself Reggie Moondogg, had told friends that he was planning a massacre in the style of Grand Theft Auto.” He was planning a GTA style massacre. Right so basically, he told friends he wanted to kill a lot of people, and he said he wanted to do it in like he would in GTA. That doesn’t mean that one day he was playing GTA, and suddenly he thought “HEY!!!!! This massacring people is good fun, I must grab a gun and shoot as many people as I can, just like Niko Bellic.” What if he had said, he wanted to kill a lot of people, and do it in the style of say Kill Bill, grab a samurai sword and start hacking at people right, left and centre? Would the headline then be “I’LL DO A KILL BILL STYLE MASSACRE”? Well knowing the way the warped, blame culture, of the media goes, probably yes. It seems that they cannot just accept that the guy wanted to kill people, and just used GTA as an example.

What you then go on to read is this in the article “He had gone on a booze bender the night before the attack, and volunteered for guard duty while drunk. He was handed an SA80 rifle with 30 rounds the next day after passing a test to see if he was sober.” So the Navy felt, that after a night of drinking, that he was sober enough to handle a weapon? How come when that would appear to be more of a thing to actually lay some real blame down, it is only touched upon in 1 paragraph? After this revelation, they go back to blaming computer games, and I would love to meet the prosecutor, who obviously has some hidden agenda regarding video games. The article goes on to read – “Donovan…told PO Andrew Love he was planning a Grand Theft Auto Massacre. Mr Lickey (prosecuting lawyer) added “The defendant just giggled and said he was thinking how to start a massacre. He started talking about Grand Theft Auto, where you start a massacre and rack up points by killing.””

When an educated man, such as a lawyer, spouts such rubbish as that last line, “start a massacre, and rack up points by killing” you think, that really, apart from those who play them regularly, and those who study their workings, not many people know about computer games, and most of those people who haven’t got a clue, look at them like people used to look at electric lightbulbs or televisions. For those who don’t know, and to reaffirm the belief of those who do, you do not “rack up points” by killing people in GTA. That implies that the game is just a glorified Pac-Man or Space Invaders, and the sole point of the game is to rack up points to get on a score board. When actually the GTA games are very intelligent, very well written works, that deserve the same critiques as books and films. Yes, they have their share of violence, and it is an open world game, which means that in between doing various missions, you do what you want – be it driving around; racing; buying new clothes; looking for secrets (such as the Heart of Liberty City or the infamous Ratman of the subway); or seeing how long you can run from the cops after getting their attention. That’s just a mechanic of the game, you can choose to be good or bad (to a point).

Take Stanley Kubrick. Well regarded as one of the most influential and highly respected directors of all time. Directing 2001: A Space Odyssey, Spartacus, Dr Strangelove, Full Metal Jacket, The Shining and others, but also directing A Clockwork Orange – which depicts absolutely horrific gang violence and rape, and was again blamed for inciting people to do what was done in the film. If someone has it in them to do something like that in the first place, they were going to do it regardless of what films they watched or what games they play. But doesn’t it stand to reason, that if someone has a depraved interest in something wrong, like the thought of murdering another, that they would read up about it, read about various murderers or serial killers, or play out their depraved fantasy in a virtual environment – such as the open world gameplay of GTA? Of course they would! That doesn’t mean that everyone who plays GTA has a vested interest in murder, just like not everyone who plays say FIFA games actually have an interest in football. I play WWE games, but I cannot stand watching it on the TV. I play GTA, but I haven’t yet carjacked someone, picked up a prostitute, then killed her to take her money. I play GTA but I haven’t actually killed a load of people then gone on a World’s Deadliest Criminals style car chase from the police. Although I have in GTA. That doesn’t make me a monster. That doesn’t mean the game is inciting me to do this, or that I think of GTA as a “killing simulator” which it was also described as in The Mirror. Killing simulator…ha. If GTA is a killing simulator, then it’s a shit killing simulator. Where are the pitchforks? Nooses? Axes? Steam-Rollers and various other killing implements? Where are these extra points for killing people? How do they benefit my game? How? How? How? Please tell me how.

Fucking media outlets, to be honest, I’m fucking incensed by their na├»ve, Mary Whitehouse style, age old view of computer games as these tools that turn normal average people into fucking murdering bastards who wouldn’t have done what they did, were it not for the pixellated little twat on the screen that is being controlled by these normal average people, within whose mouth butter wouldn’t melt.

Did Bonnie and Clyde need computer games to kill people? NO! Did Vlad the Impaler need pixelled inspiration to drive him to murdrer countless hordes of innocents and display their heads on pikes? NO! Did Fred West kill those poor kids because he played a violent computer game? NO! Why? Because even if they had played violent games, they would have done the same as they did anyway, because that is just how their brains were wired. Some people are wired for good deeds, some people are wired for nastiness and some people – like Cliff Richard – are wired for sound. Sorry had to be done.

I apologise for going somewhat off-topic in parts, and rambling for some parts, but I think I got my point across – yet again computer games are pointed at for causing someone to commit murder, I think it’s wrong, and a very backwards view on the whole situation. Like blaming witches for a bad crop, the media try to burn computer games at the stake, and no matter how many times they do it, eventually they will come to their senses over the whole affair. Until that time comes, they will be pointed at, sneered at, and blamed for things that they – like “witches” – had no involvement in.

Toolbox24 - Written 20/09/11

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Toolbox 24's Top Ten Games from 2000

2000 – The first year of the new Millenium and a pretty good year for games. If this Top Ten is anything to go by, it was apparently the year of the Sequel, with 4 of my titles being affixed with either a 2 or a II.
This list is merely my opinion, and not to be taken anything other than. There might be a couple of games missing from the list that you would be quite :O’ed by, but these are my personal top ten games of the year 2000. These are based on things such as playability, and how long they managed to keep me entertained – and some of them are still in my games library being played.

So here we go…

10 – WWF: Smackdown! 2 Know Your Role – THQ – PS1

The first of 5 sequels, WWF: SD2KYR was at the time for me wrestling gaming perfection. THQ had bolstered the creation mode of the game from their previous game – WWF: Smackdown! – and had also updated quite a few little bits and pieces here and there. Yes the game was riddled with glitches and long loading times, and also had a couple of wrestlers kinda ghosting in the game – WWF told THQ to remove Ken Shamrock and Big Show, which they almost did, because although you couldn’t play as them, or use their music or anything, they still appeared in a couple of game modes – but this game for me at the time was as close to being a wrestler as I could get without actually wrestling and hurting myself…ahem. Yes since then, THQ has made a lot of better WWF/WWE games, but for 2000 –this was the one for me.

9 – Perfect Dark – Rare – N64

This could make the Top Ten List of 2000 for 1 main reason – it is essentially the spiritual successor to the amazing Rare FPS game – Goldeneye 007. It shares many of the same features (if it ain’t broke…) as Goldeneye 007, with obvious enhanced graphics and sound. The storyline involves secret organisations, secret aliens, obvious aliens, AI and is all based 12 years from now (based in 2023). The gameplay offers some nice little features, such as unlocking “classic” weapons, which are all renamed Goldeneye weapons, and also being able to go at missions in 2 ways (which seems so common-place now) but at the time was still a good approach to FPS gaming – Gung Ho vs Stealth. Not wanting to go on too much about this, I’ll move onto Number 8, as I feel as if someone has crawled into my head and told me to move on…

8 – Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 – Westwood Studios – PC

Yuri. Quite a centrepiece of the Red Alert games…especially in the add-on pack…Yuri’s Revenge. But he was again the main antagonist in this game, that took the original C&C games, and gave it a graphical overhaul. And didn’t overly mess with the gameplay that made the original games so amazing. C&C:RA2 took the premise that “THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!!!” and had them not only coming over, but they were already here…that is if here was the USA. Ivan had invaded the USA and was storming across California and into heartland America. There was only 1 person who could change the tide of the war, and that person was you. Of and if you’re keeping count, that was sequel No. 2.

7 – Solider of Fortune – Raven Software – PC

Such an amazing game, and a storyline straight out of an 80’s Action Movie! Main baddy, Sergei Dekker is the leader of this neo-Nazi group who has stolen some Nukes and plans to sell them to various bidders around the world – naughty bidders no less. Built on the a modified Quake II Engine, the game runs on what is called the GHOUL Engine…Shoot a guy in the foot, he hops around because his foot was blown off, shoot him in the neck, he’ll gasp for air whilst blood is shooting from the hole in his throat, and of course there are various other bits to shoot off to great grizzly effect!! This is a pure out ‘n’ out shooter, with gruesome graphics, a cheesy 80’s action movie plot, and a German Nazi Bad Guy. This game is pure fun with a capital F.

6 – Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn – BioWare – PC

Yes, it’s the third sequel on the list, and it’s by everyone’s favourite RPG creators – BioWare. Before they were an even longer than a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, before they were slaying Dragons and before they showed us the Reaper threat, BioWare were busy creating awesome games even in the dark ages of the turn of the millennium. Baldur’s Gate II: SoA is an epic RPG with the staples of BioWare games of today embedded in it. Great story, great gameplay and the real-time, but pausable combat. And as is another staple of BioWare’s greatness, is that your decisions in the game effect what is going to happen later on. The story on Baldur’s Gate is as epic as their latest adventure with Commander Shepard in Mass Effect. Baldur’s Gate also has a huge cult following, with hundreds of unofficial add-ons, totalling hours and hours of gameplay to advance the story on – faithfully replicating the greatness of the originals. I could go on, but there’s the top 5 to go through…

5 - Championship Manager Season 00/01 – Sports Interactive – PC

To those who know me, you should know that when I’m not shopping at my favourite store on the Citadel, or shooting zombies, or basking in the coolness of an eastern European trying to make it in Liberty City, I’m most likely managing some team to greatness in the Football Manager games. I play Football Manager now, because since Eidos and Sports Interactive (SI) split, Eidos kept the name, and SI kept the game mechanics, and changed their title to a lesser known early 80’s game – Football Manager. But once upon a time, Eidos and SI worked together as a momentous front pairing, like Owen and Shearer, devastating defenceless imitations like LMA Manager, FIFA Manager or Premier Manager. SI have moved on to be an awesome lone striker, with a supporting forward in Sega, but Eidos are always cowering in their shadows…anyways onto the game!! This game must hit my top 5 because as with all the SI games, this is immensely immersive, addictive and so playable it should be illegalised. Yeah it still had the old fashioned text for matches, but it had everything you could want, and also Leeds were a force to be reckoned with in the Premiership!!! Always a winner. Go out and grab a copy, so you can see what Football could have been like without Roman’s Rubles at Chelscum, before Fabregas could even shave let alone broker a deal to Barcelona, and of course, before the Golden Generation of England players turned into a wee bit of a flop. As addictive as ever, and also look into a world of Football where teams who overreach like someone on a ladder who’s “been doing this for years” and bomb aren’t described (with shame in my tone) as “doing a Leeds”.

4 - Tony Hawks Pro Skater 2 – Neversoft – PS1

Massively addictive, and so many days spent with Jollyoaks trying to get that little bit further, trying to do that one extra rail slide to get the extra points to win the round, get more cash, buy more skill upgrades or “Tekkers” as the kids say these days, and what you have is a hugely addictive game that never failed to surprise. I’ve played other THPS games since, and number 2 (hahahaha) is the best by far. It’s simple gameplay, makes it a dream to play, and also if you’re impatient, it’s learning curve is tiny! Various different courses to explore and develop your skills on, and more and more little hidden gems than you could shake a shitty stick at. Worth more than just a quick once over, worth spending whole days playing while the world does what it has to do in your absence.

3 - The Sims – Maxis – PC 

If you haven’t heard of The Sims then it’s kinda like saying you’ve not heard of The Godfather, or Iron Maiden, or Friends. It’s like saying that you’ve not heard of McDonalds, that you don’t know what a pencil is, or that you think that Posh Spice is a female version of Old Spice for the ladies. The basic premise for The Sims is simple, and not what you would expect from a game that has 2 sequels and has sold millions of copies around the world: play as a normal guy or gal, and live their lives. But surely there’s a storyline? Or the person you are has like super powers? No? So you have to get them a job? And clean their house? And buy stuff like dining tables and lights? When you look at it all like this, it makes you wonder how this ever became the mega massive ultra-high ranking addictive game that it actually is. But it works. All of it works, and it’s one of the most addictive game franchises of all time. Live your life through a Sim. Wanna be a policeman? Do it! Wanna buy a new fridge? Save for a couple of days and buy one! Wanna child? Sure just knock up your girlfriend and after a few days you got one! The simple things in life become the big things in the game. Hurrah, your Sim just made dinner that didn’t burn the house down, or your Sim didn’t block the toilet after going to “make”. Another great addition, is the inclusion of all the extra packs you could get to outfit your Sim or their home with a myriad of extras. A purely addictive computer game that still keeps people glued to their screens more than 10 years later.

2 - Deus Ex – Ion Storm Inc. – PC

Deus Ex is by far not just one of the greatest games of the year 2000, but one of the greatest games ever made. With a storyline that draws you in, and offers you several different conclusions at the end, with twists and turns and one of the first games to offer you an almost open-world gameplay. Not to the extent of the GTA games, but awesome nonetheless for the time of the game, and the good graphics for the time. Set in a not too distant future where terrorists are the order of the day, and the world falling ever quicker into turmoil. You are JC Denton, a novice UN Anti-Terrorist Coalition agent, who – as the game unfolds – discovers that he has stumbled upon an ancient conspiracy involving the Illuminati, the Hong Kong Triads and sophisticated AI to name but a few. The style of game for this FPS/RPG means that you can either be a bit of a badass shooting first and taking names later, or you can find other means to reach your goal and complete your mission. Worldwide acclaim and high scores from pretty much every source shows that it isn’t just a select few who think of this game as world-class, but pretty much everyone who has ever stepped into Denton’s shoes thinks of this game in their own personal top 10.

1 - Counter-Strike – Valve – PC

I suppose before I start, I should really point out 2 things. Valve didn’t come up with Counter-Strike (CS). All credit must go to Minh “Gooseman” Le and Jess “Cliffe” Cliffe. A year previous in 1999, these 2 modified Half Life to create a basic team deathmatch mod, which they called Counter-Strike. This caught on, and became so immensely popular, that by the 4th beta version of the mod, Valve stepped in to help the modders, and even employed Gooseman into their ranks. The official retail version wasn’t released until Nov 2000, and Valve never looked back. Without this mod, and new game, it’s arguable that Valve wouldn’t have reached the heights that they have since hit, with Half Life 2, Steam, and of course Left 4 Dead. Enough of this though. CS is still one of the most popular online games on the internet, and possibly could only claim second place in the all time league to World of Warcraft, for the amount of players who have spent countless hours playing this game. Professional gamers earn a living playing this game in professional leagues, which are sometimes televised in the US and Canada, at the time of writing (2045GMT, Sun 4th Sep 2011) Steam currently shows that just under 60,000 people are playing Counter-Strike, compared with under 35,000 people currently playing the new Deus-Ex game, oh and that little CoD game that “gamers” seem to like to much, the total players of Modern Warfare 2 and Black-Ops only slightly top the amount of people playing a real FPS. Don’t get me wrong I like the CoD games, but I don’t prematurely ejaculate at the thought of playing it like some people do. The gameplay is smooth, especially now that hardware and software have moved on, but even in it’s day, it was a smooth and thoroughly fun game to play. Simple premise – 2 teams, terrorists and counter terrorists, fight and try to win. Simple? You bet it’s simple, not just that, but it’s so addictive and so easy to get lost in for hours, it’s what makes games great. Some people can get lost in a good book, or be brought to tears by an emotional film, and others can’t get by easily without their fix of Eastenders - some people lose themselves in games like this. If you’ve got a bit of time, play this game, and immerse yourself into some real team playing CS fun. An easily chosen Number 1 for the year 2000, and if you go by player numbers on a year on year basis, would be in at least the top 5 every year since.


Germany Finally Accepts Doom...Well Kinda

Back in 1994, when I was just a lil 7 year old gamer (playing Super Mario mostly), I used to sit by my brother or sister, while they played the graphical, gameplaying marvel that is Doom (and of Course Doom II – Hell on Earth). Such was my innocence, that I actually confused a couple of very different words…”Oh no Lisa” for my Sister’s name is Lisa, “Oh no, look out for that lesbian!”

That’s right, I confused Lesbians and Zombies. I’m not saying that I still get confused with flesh and brain eating, undead corpses and ladies who are all about the clunge, that’s just not my style baby. That’s not how I roll.

Anyway, what you may or may not have realised, is that in Germany, the game by iD was put on an index of controlled titles back on release, and was only allowed to be sold in adult only stores. You can just picture it now, some square jawed Dieter walking into a dingy little shop in downtown Hamburg, walking through the beaded curtain towards the back of the store, and asking some tattooed hulk of a man “Ja, haff you got any of ze good stuff? I’m looking for ze shooty game wiz ze imps unt der lesbians” You get the jist.

This was because at the time in post-Cold War Germany, they felt that the game was too violent for teenagers and youths of the country, and that it was actually “deemed likely to harm youth.”

I suppose some cynics out there would argue that they had a slight point, the school shootings at Columbine High School in the US of A, many pointed at Doom and Marilyn Manson as 2 of the main reasons that those 2 lads went in and shot up a load of people. When of course, it couldn’t possibly be that they were just 2 psychos? I’m sure that if a game like GTA was out when Bonnie and Clyde were plying their trade across America, that it would have been pointed out as the main and only reason why 2 people would do what they did too. But of course, back then they didn’t have computer games to chastise whenever someone did something horrible. Probably blamed electric lightbulbs or something. “It’s that artificial electric light, it’s the light from Satan’s hell fires!!!”

The ban itself was put in place until 31st August 2011, with no chance of appeal until then. However, since the original on the PC was banned, it has not only been almost freely available on the internet to anyone with a spare 30mb of hard disk space, but also was available in Germany on other formats such as the Game Boy Advance and SNES.

If it does start to sell in shops, it would only be available to over-16’s, which again is a tad anomalous since I would happily let my 10 year old boy play this, in fact, he’d probably scare the game more than the other way around.

However, there is still a ban on the American version of the game, which includes 2 bonus levels of Wolfenstein 3D (the mother of all FPS games) which depicts Nazis and Swastikas. Fair one I suppose, they’re a little sensitive about all that silly World War 2 business!

Well there you have it. If you find yourself in Germany with your laptop and a bit of spare time to play some games, (and as long as you’re over 16) make your way to a game store, and pick up a German copy of Doom, newly out, 17 years after originally being published. That or I would imagine that you can download a copy for a lot less time and money that it would take for you to find a game store in Germany. And it would be an English/American version with all those tasty Nazis to blow up with your Rocket Launcher or BFG 3000.

Have fun out there.